Oh boy.

Today was an eventful day. It began today in Publications class, but before we get to that, let me provide some background.  My friend Sami and I have this little joke from a devotional I’m reading called “Jesus Calling” by Sarah Young (which i highly recommend, by the way, if you’re looking for a good, short, daily devotional). The book is written like Jesus is talking to the reader, so one sentence said, “I will fight for you”. Now, try saying this in a slow, British/Australian accent and you have me and Sami’s new inside joke. I know. We’re hilarious.

Anyway, this got me thinking about that one SNL British movie trailer spoof (ever seen it? If not, look it up!) So, naturally, I showed it to her while we were in publications class (neither of us had a deadline, so we had time to spare) and we were riding the crazy train for the rest of the day. I’m surprised that somebody didn’t have us thrown in the loony bin. Not only that, but we wrote the “blog post” below.

So, here is the product of lack of sleep and love of british accents. Cheerio!

NB: This must be read in a think, obnoxious british accent. Otherwise, it will just sound silly. 😉

Dear Blog,

I haven’t posted in awhile and i apologize for my lack of posts. I know you miss me and the depravity of my words upon the screen of your computer. Today i will be scribing upon this website a little ditty of words for you.

Today’s topic: skating upon the ice.

First tidbit of information you would be merry to know is how to properly place the skate on your feet, figuratively of course. Put the ice skates on your feet in your mind, and place the foot upon the solid form of H2O. Now, try moving around a ditty. If you seem to master this technique, then you are ready to move on to reality. Place the actual skate on your foot. Tie it up, and now you are ready.

No, you are not ready. It is essential to your health and wellbeing to find a sturdy buddy. Poop-a-doop. This is essential because if you take a nasty and you can’t get up and you happen to have left your Life Alert at home, then the buddy system will come into play. THAY WILL FIGHT FOR YEW. Once you have mastered the art of the buddy system, then you may stray from your buddy for brief periods of time. Not too long though, or you will surely fail. Good. Check. The next matter of extreme importance is your check-in with your buddy. Check in early and often. Also, be aware of your surrounding, there will–to your amazement–be other skaters upon the ice platform. THAY WILL NOT FIGHT FOR YEW, which is why you need your buddy. Stick to your buddy, figuratively of course. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves.

Finally, before we can step on the ice we need to learn how to properly step off the ice. First, take a deep breath and believe in your heart that you can do it. Now find your buddy and cling to your buddy with every fiber of your being. Buddy get off, you hold buddy, and you get off. Now you must safely get to the bench, beware this could potentially be the most dangerous part.

Now. Finally, after much preparation and deliberation we must pray for safety and the safety of your buddy and THEN, you are finally ready. Go, my child. Go and be merry upon the platform of ice.

Cheers!

[I don’t really care if you can skate anymore. All i know is that Sami is not listening to me right now and she wishes you the worst of luck in your skating experience.]

Now, you may be wondering why we decided to write about skating. That night, me and Sami were going ice skateing at an event the guys hockey team puts on every year at my school, called Skate with the Lions. I love skating, but unfortunately that doesn’t mean I’m good at it. I ended up with wet pants and numb legs, but overall the night was very fun. So there you have it. This was my day, and i hope you enjoyed reading about it as much as i loved living it!

Now go out and enjoy this beautiful snowy weather!

Laura